How You Get The Girl

So first, hello everyone.

It’s been a long time since we talked, and I’ve got a monstrous stash of material to spill onto these pages to make you laugh, sigh, die of embarrassment with me, and even maybe feel like you just listened to Drake for 72 hours straight and are all in your feelings.

But first, I’d like to set the tone with my return to this blog. I’ve been brought back to blog-life with some exciting new things, and a special someone, and am ready to spill my guts. I’ve still got the ninja tendencies, but I’m hoping to grow past them and take you along for the ride.

I mean, if I can write a book about Love, Loss, & What I Drank, I can certainly write a book about winning at love, right?

To be clear, and to call a “cease fire” to the questions, I am, in fact, still single.

Whether or not this new someone is around for the long haul (which I truly hope is the case), I’m poised and ready to be a little less of a cactus and a lot more of an orchid.

So all I wanna know is, who’s comin’ with me?


I know I’ve got a long road ahead, and the progress I’ve made in just a few short months is more than I cumulatively made from 2010-2014, so I’m super damn good with it.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll help you play catch up. Here’s the main players you’ll be hearing about. You can call this a teaser if you’d like, but I encourage you to view it as an appetizer. Because your emails & tweets have been telling me to get some shit cooking already. And it’s dinnertime, bitches.

Mr. Right Now
You know I’m not a ho, and I don’t at all do “flings”. I played around with a “flirtationship” and had a fun and captivating someone that was more than a guest character. For over five years, he was in and out of a revolving door. We served as a dynamic and hot pair. Love was never spinning on the turntables for us, but a bond was forged that anyone would be lucky to have. Chemistry. Fire. An organic connection.

The Beautiful Baby
One night at work, the most beautiful man stopped me in my tracks. Our instant chemistry was so incredibly palpable, and everyone around us stopped in their tracks and took notice. It was quite a buzz, and an incredibly exciting roller coaster that ended in one of the most abrupt and memorable of ways. I’ll drop a confession about my underlying adoration of men with powerful presences, and the accompanying penchant for inevitable douchebaggery that is the occasional side-effect of these types. You’ll not want to miss that post.

The Fuckboys
This is plural for a reason. I met a series of Sams since I last spilled my guts to you, and they all get grouped together because they all belonged to the Fuckboy Alliance. So many laughs, so many scowls, and even more “you gotta be kidding me”s are on deck here. And, true to my style, none of ’em got any of me.

The Game Changer
The newest to emerge is the one that got me ready to blog again. I’ll puke in my mouth if I actually type how I feel about this one right now, but I’ll tell you this: he’s the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. Even if he goes away (and I hope he doesn’t), the change he has inspired is long overdue and wonderful. And I’m just another follower of this story like you–I’m waiting to see what develops. But the tone and underlying theme that this blog is about to take on will at least be inspired by–if not changed by–him and everything he gives to me. Which includes butterflies, but mostly some inspiration to bring you along on the journey to being in the happy place instead of the cynical Shaolin stance.

I’ve got some drafts to edit, and some things to align to make sure you’re getting nothing but filet mignon from me, so, true to tradition, I’ll leave you with a song.

This song, and technically speaking, this video, are a pretty accurate representation of how anything of value which is romantically related goes down in my world. I mean, before the blogworthy stuff happens.