Well, here’s some updates since you last heard from me:
- The blog has been getting some great attention, and I appreciate it! It makes me feel bloggier than ever.
- I’m no longer single (more on that later)
- I’m drinking straight outta the bottle today. Pellegrino, but still.
So onto business.
Checking into a new relationship means checking out of whatever “relationships” you had before. And with that, comes some
fun shittastic things like conversations that either should’ve happened months ago or never should happen at all.
I’m no bona fide slut, but I certainly have my share of exceptional gents and a few mildly annoying ones that check in with me regularly. For quite some time–six years to be accurate–I’ve had one special one who was important enough to have his own ringtone. Mr. Right Now was beyond just being a “crush”. He had that special “something” that just captivated me. And we definitely felt a mutual heat and attraction.
My unique ability to push dudes away kept us from ever being anything noteworthy, but it wasn’t for his lack of effort. By early summer this year, I was done pushing him away and started to finally put myself out there for him. He never got a chance to be my boyfriend, and we both acknowledged it.
We weren’t the ones to have deep, long conversations about life philosophies, our daily troubles, or any kind of future. But every call or text was important, and we loved the special thing we had.
There’s something about a grown-ass man that handles his business and carries himself in a dignified manner that just does it for me.
This one had put up with my repeated intermittent texts asking to put us on a freeze because I was in a relationship and couldn’t take the texts anymore. He never dropped me, he just waited patiently on the sidelines (doing his own thing, of course, but not giving up on “us” nevertheless). He knew it was only a matter of time before I dropped the guy and was back to doing my own thing–and giving him my attention.
As things heated up from a simmer to a boil, we started navigating through two equally busy lives and finally decided to take a step forward.
Until, well, The Game Changer showed up. I don’t know how he did it, but he did. And everything I had even lightly thought about with Mr. Right Now became irrelevant.
This time, with “The Call” it’s a little different. Our conversation was brief, and he responded with the usual “ok, I’ll be here when it ends” kind of response, but I have a feeling we won’t be flipping the “on” switch back on.
I couldn’t bring myself to say it, though. I don’t really know why.
He never got the chance to be more to me because I never really gave it to him. I know I mean more to him than cheap late night calls or a casual flirtationship. After this many years, it’s pretty undeniable we meant something to each other.
When I hear Lady Gaga song, he always pops in my head. I somehow just kinda know I pop up in his head sometimes, and he must be thinking about us. Or the chance I never really gave us.
I’ve closed the chapter in my head and in my heart, and I hope he has, too.
I mean, it was fun while it lasted. 🙂